


The Sleeptalking One

by yonderdarling



Series: Doctor/Missy Oneshots [5]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Kid Fic, M/M, Multi, Sharing a Bed, Sleeptalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 21:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9626753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yonderdarling/pseuds/yonderdarling
Summary: From a tumblr post that starts off, "My boyfriend talks in his sleep and I wish it was just cute gibberish but instead it’s TERRIFYING. so far, he has...."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evilqueenofgallifrey (MayFairy)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayFairy/gifts), [auroralmelody](https://archiveofourown.org/users/auroralmelody/gifts).



> Based mostly on this tumblr post (http://nicolauda.tumblr.com/post/154170822171/uhrair-uhrair-my-boyfriend-talks-in-his) and one other. Linked with the fanfic Once Upon a Time in Nazi-Occupied France.

Once, and this had been the most embarrassing point in the Master's life up until the time he'd nearly been killed by a dinosaur (which in turn had been eclipsed by when he nearly turned into a cat), he'd been in the same cell as the Doctor.

It had been a cold cell, and that meant -

"We're going to have to huddle up, old boy," said the Doctor.

"Yes," said the Master. "How unfortunate."

As this was back in the old days, it wasn't actually unfortunate, but the Master didn't want to let the side down.

"Let's use my coat as a blanket," said the Doctor, and he'd promptly lain it over both of them.

And they'd huddled, on the little bunk in the cell. And they'd warmed up, and dozed off, and they'd been spooning, because - even Time Lords spoon - until the Doctor had said something.

The Master was the little spoon. That happened sometimes.

"Have a great day at work, baby," mumbled the Doctor, and kissed the Master behind the ear.

The Master smiled, right up until the point the Doctor shoved him off the bunk and wrapped himself in his coat with a pleased sigh. The Master stood, folded his arms, looked at the sleeping man.

"Rude," was all the Master could say, and he hunched his shoulders and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Ridiculous."

 

*** * ***

 

The sex had been, as it had been with the Doctor this time round, adequate. Of course, there were times (usually involving pollen, or her strapping on a pair of leather gloves and wielding a riding crop with gusto), where the sex had been far beyond adequate and sat firmly in the excellent-and-or-universe-shaking category.

But for today, adequate. Mostly because "do we actually have to Missy, I mean, I really want to finish this book, fine, if it'll shut you up," didn't rank high on her sexy-talk list. And he was cuddling. Four hadn't been a cuddler; Five had been all about the snuggling, especially when the one-day test was on. Twelve vocally proclaimed he wasn't a cuddler until he was plastered to her side, and he was doing that to her now, snoring into her neck.

Missy blinked and tried to extricate herself in a half-asleep, vaguely-fond-but-tired-from-the-shagging-disgusted-at-the-snuffling way. Then, his arm vicelike around her waist, she gave up and settled in. She took a deep breath and let it out, stroking the Doctor's hand. Her eyes began to close -

The Doctor sat up.

"Again - " Missy began, but he clapped one hand over her mouth, pressed down on her shoulder. "Doctor - "

"You see it?" he whispered.

He let her sit up, as he pointed towards the bedroom wall. Missy squinted at him in the dark.

"You see that?" he kept pointing. "Do you see it? The barbed wire."

Missy kept squinting, and then scoffed. His eyes were shut. She flopped back down in the bed, pulled the covers up.

"Lie down, Doctor," she said.

"Whatsat?" the Doctor asked.

"Oh, for the love of - " Missy grabbed his pillow and smacked him over the head. She snapped the light on, snickered at the Doctor's ridiculous bedhead and wounded expression.

"What? What?" he asked. "What have you done?"

"You were sleeptalking," Missy said. She slung his pillow into his lap and lay back down, turning onto her side. "Go back to sleep."

"Turn the light out."

She snapped the light out, listened to the Doctor shuffling around in the sheets and blankets, plumping his pillow. He made a 'bleh' sort of noise and she heard him swiping at his lips.

"I have your hair in my mouth."

"It does that," said Missy, rolling over and looping her arm around his waist. She squeezed him. "Medusa-ey, you know?"

"I'm not a cuddler," the Doctor mumbled, shifting away from her.

"Then I am, apparently. Deal with it."

 

*** * ***

 

They were asleep in a heap on the couch; some adaptation of the Time Machine playing on the telly, reflecting off the bottles of wine and the dirty glasses. It was warm and soft and safe, right up until the point the Doctor jerked upright and sent Missy sprawling on the floor.

"He's here," said the Doctor. He pointed, arm and finger dead straight, at the door. "He's here."

Missy blinked up at him for a moment. The Doctor sank down into the couch again. She heard a vague snore.

"Well," said Missy. She sat up and grabbed a bottle of wine, looked at the TV. "Oh good, Morlocks."

 

*** * ***

 

Outside, it was pattering down with rain, the moonslight casting blue shadows across the room. Missy found herself dragged out of sleep, lying flat on her back, warm and utterly limp against the mattress. She took a drowsy moment to enjoy the peace. She smiled, closed her eyes -

The Doctor snuffled. Missy tutted.

"You don't know what's out there," he murmured, and Missy shoved her head under the pillow.

"The absolute worst," she said.

There were a few moments of silence, and she cautiously removed the pillow. With a rustling of blankets, and a thud when the book she'd fallen asleep reading hit the floor, the Doctor flopped on top of her. He pressed a sleepy kiss to her ear, wrapped one arm around her shoulders.

"Okay," said Missy. "Not terrible."

"You," mumbled the Doctor, and kissed her again. Missy slid her arms around his middle. He was still asleep. "You."

Another kiss. He was getting hard against her thigh, and Missy trailed her hands up his back. She stroked his hair softly and hummed.

"You're getting my attention," Missy murmured.

"You don't know what's in the swamp," the Doctor said suddenly.

Missy paused, watching the blue light on the ceiling. Then, she snorted. Giggled. She tried to stop herself from laughing, but it was a losing battle. There was a sudden breath against her neck, and the Doctor pushed himself off her, flopped onto the unoccupied side of the mattress.

"What'sit?" he asked, and Missy put the pillow over her head for the second time in as many minutes. "Was I talking again?"

Missy kept giggling. The Doctor poked her in the side, lifted the pillow.

"Why am I in your room?" he asked.

"You came up after me, you tell me," said Missy. "Though," she said, sliding her thigh between his legs. "I think I have a vague indication of your reasoning."

She chuckled again, covered her face.

"What did I say?" the Doctor asked.

"Something about a swamp," she said.

The Doctor clapped a hand over his eyes. "Shrek," he said. "We were watching Shrek - "

"Shrek is love," Missy said, peering at him over her fingers. "Shrek is - "

"Don't you fucking dare - " the Doctor said, and Missy burst out laughing. "This is your fault - sh, you'll wake - "

"The kids are fast asleep, it'll be fine," said Missy. "Shrek is love, Shrek is life."

"I hate you."

Missy sat up, pushed the blankets back. She shoved the Doctor flat onto his back, swung her leg so she was straddling his hips.

"You're awake, then," said the Doctor. "It's three in the morning."

"You're up too," said Missy cheerfully, and the Doctor scowled. "That joke never gets old."

 

*** * ***

 

The next day in the garden, there were more puddles than the kids knew what to do with. The rain cleared briefly but the sky stayed cloudy and grey, the thick black clouds over the nearby mountains promising a hell of a storm later. Missy stood under an umbrella, watching the children make mud pies in the fine drizzle, their clothes utterly filthy.

"Are you going to help?" Tiamat asked. "Come on, help!"

"Not with that attitude," Missy said.

"Please, mum," said Marduk.

"Tia," said Missy, and Tia sighed.

"Please help, mum," she said, and Missy cast the umbrella aside dramatically, sank to her knees in the mud. " _Thank_ you."

"Right, pies," said Missy, taking off her rings. "Pies, pies, pies. What kind of pies are we making?"

"Chocolate," said Marduk.

"Okay, duckie, you can help with mine," said Missy, and her very muddy son sat happily in her lap, smearing her skirt with more muck. "Lots of pebbles for flavour?"

"Yes, yes. And the crunch." Marduk splashed his hands into a puddle and came up with a handful of sludge. "Right."

Tiamat wandered off to collect some herbs for her pie. Missy counted down from ten and had gotten to three when the Doctor hurried out of the house, grabbed their daughter around the middle and swung her up onto his shoulder. Tiamat shrieked, flailed.

"It's going to be a thyme pie so it can travel in time!" shouted Tiamat. "Dad, put me do-o-o-own!"

The Doctor looked at Missy, who held up her hands and shrugged. She pecked Marduk on top of his head, noted the spots of dirt in his fine blonde hair. 

"How about a daisy pie? There's daisies by the swing, go grab some."

The Doctor put Tiamat down and the girl splashed across the yard with her bucket at the ready. The Doctor knelt carefully beside Missy and their son, where they were carefully decorating their pie with little rocks. The Doctor handed Marduk a piece of amber from his pocket, and the boy proudly put it in the centre of the mudpie. For a moment, there was peace, and the Doctor stroked Marduk's hair while Missy watched Tiamat picking flowers. Then,

"We cleaned the house yesterday," the Doctor said. " _Yesterday_."

"It's just a bit of mud. I'll take my clothes off," Missy said. "And go roll around on your bed or something."

"No," said the Doctor.

She grinned over at him. "Oh yes. Revenge for waking us all up the other night, yelling about the fall of Marakesh."

"I had a dream, quiet."

On her lap, Marduk sneezed, then sniffed. The Doctor fished out his handkerchief, handed it to Marduk, who blew his nose. Tiamat ran back over with a handful of crushed flowers. A few fat drops of rain fell from the sky, and all four of them looked up.

"Ah dear," said the Doctor. Thunder rumbled.

"Yes," said Missy.

"Come on, inside time," said the Doctor. "We'll run you two a bath and your mother's going to have a shower."

"Up," said Marduk, and the Doctor gave up and swung his son onto his hip. "Good."

"I want you to carry me too," said Tiamat. "Dad?"

"Marduk asked first," said the Doctor. "Next time, baby. Come on - Missy, grab the umbrella, it's our last one and I hate visiting the planet of the umbrellas."

"Why?" Tiamat and Marduk chorused.

"You need to wear goggles," said the Doctor, leading the way to the house. "Protective eyewear. And the goblins who run the place are just - rude. Terrible customer service. Tia, get the door please."

Tiamat opened the door with a flourish, made a show of wiping her boots. The Doctor put Marduk on the carpet, ushered Tiamat over the threshold. "Okay you two, upstairs, get those dirty clothes off, dressing gowns on. I'll run you a bath. Get your duck, and your octopus." The children thundered up the corridor. "Missy - "

She poked him in the shoulder with the furled umbrella. The Doctor swatted at her.

"You're a mess," he said. "It's in your hair."

"You love it," said Missy. She put the umbrella on its hook, leant over and kissed him on the cheek, leaving mud on his coat. "Oh, oops, what a terrible mistake I've made. What a colossal fuck-up."

"Go get changed," said the Doctor. "Or we'll have to clean this whole place again, and I was hoping to actually do something fun tomorrow - "

"What if I say no?" Missy asked. She kissed his cheek again.

"I'll tell you to get cleaned up," said the Doctor, unbuttoning his coat. He hung it on the hook. "Go get changed. Please."

"And if I don't want to get changed?"

The Doctor fixed her with a glare, but he was trying to hide a smile. He settled for leaning over and kissing her, nipping at her bottom lip.

"Oh, Doctor, do you have an alternative plan for making me take my clothes off?"

The Doctor paused, and Missy pressed her hand to his sternum, slipped her fingers between his shirt buttons. Distantly, they heard the squeak of Tiamat's rubber duck and the responding honk of Marduck's rubber octopus.

"Why does it honk?" Missy asked, and the Doctor shrugged. "Well, while they're distracted," she said, and the Doctor laughed again.

"Ah, just get in the shower, you filthy little goblin-woman."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, feedback is always appreciated! And thanks to auroral melody and evilqueenofgallifrey for their wonderful fanart/fanfic they drew when I was sick.


End file.
